Open Letter – Request to Light up CST in Blue around Men’s Day, 19 Nov

Dear Railway Ministers and Authorities,

Firstly warm wishes to you in advance of upcoming Men’s Day, which falls on 19th November. I am sure you all are doing some fantastic work in your respective areas and I appreciate you for that.

I am sending this email (also an open letter shared outside) with 3 simple reasons to light up our Mumbai’s iconic World Heritage structure and a historic building we are all so proud of – the Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus (CSMT) – in Blue lights on Men’s Day eve and Men’s Day i.e. on 18th and 19th November 2017.

  1. Men have always been silent contributors for the society – be it a young man supporting his family or a senior citizen indulging in social service. Their contributions deserve to be respected and acknowledged. They need to be appreciated and encouraged. “CSMT in Blue” will be step towards achieving this.
  2. Men’s Health: There is a huge “vaccum” in India when it comes to men’s health. There is a lot of space for research or simply generating awareness related to health disorders men suffer from. “CSMT in Blue” can spread light on such health concerns of men and these ought to be highlighted.
  3. Issues related to men is a very dark area. The universal belief that men dont need help or they can be on their own leads to almost complete ignorance towards grievances of men’s issues. There’s a huge lack of empathy towards men and their problems. However men are human too and can be as vulnerable as women when they find themselves wronged by same or other gender. In fact suicides in men are double than that of women which confirms that are under tremendous stress or burden and there grievances need to be addressed. “CSMT in Blue” can be symbolic to light up these dark areas concerning men.

Elaborating on Men’s Health: Men’s Day falls in the month of November, which is also called as Movember. During this month men are encouraged to “grow their mo” i.e. moustaches & beards. The idea is to save some money by not shaving for a month and donate this saved money for cancer research which men suffer from. Every 7th man can potentially suffer from the life-threatening Prostate Cancer sometime in their life. Not much is known or researched about Testicular Cancer. Like breasts in women, testicles are external organs and careful amputation of testicles is done to save lives. Early detection of Testicular cancer can help prevent loss of lives. Periodic physical examination by self is the only way to early detect lump formation or Testicular Cancer. Lung and Throat Cancer are also very prevalent in men and campaigns to give up smoking (also used by men as stress-buster) can save lot of lives.

“CSMT in Blue” can be a message to all men to be self aware of their health.

On other lines, if CSMT can be lit up in pink on Women’s Day, in Indian tricolour during India’s Independence Day, in French tricolour after terrorist attacks in France and otherwise in different shades normally during the course of a year, why shouldn’t it be lit blue on Men’s Day? Mumbai is probably the most advanced city in India and we do support equal rights amongst human beings without any discrimination, don’t we?

We already had an instance of CSMT getting lit up in blue lights on Autism Day. Having done it in the past and having all the resources to light it up in blue, if we have the correct intent, we can light-up “CSMT in Blue” again!

Thanks in advance and in anticipation of this wonderful gesture by you for Mumbai, Maharashtra & India.

Regards,

A proud Indian common man.

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A Few Inferences from Kalyan Dey Chowdhary Supreme Court Judgement

Currently a supreme court judgement on alimony is making the news headlines like “Alimony must be 25% of husband’s net pay”. While most of you may not have the time to deep dive into why such an order was passed, I have made an attempt to understand that. I have gone ahead and read the actual supreme court judgement and I thought there were many mistakes on husband’s part which lead to this judgement which ought not be repeated by others. I will spread light on these later in this post.

Before that let’s go through my understanding of the facts of the matter:

  • The Husband was acquitted of charges under IPC 498a & 406.
  • He had earlier applied for Restitution of Conjugal Rights (or RCR) under Hindu Marriage Act in an effort to call his wife back for co-habitation which he subsequently won and still wife refused to co-habit with him, not following courts orders.
  • He also made alternate arrangements for co-habitation with wife separating the family from his parents.
  • Still the wife refused to come and to prevent this she filed for judicial separation. Husband objected as written reply but couldn’t attend the court case as he was allegedly man-handled in the court. The judicial separation was thus passed ex-patry in favor of wife.
  • Husband then applied for divorce which was granted.
  • His wife had applied for maintenance under HMA when husband had​ filled RCR, she re-applied it again under change of circumstances a few years later when husband filed divorce stating that husband’s salary increased, thus increasing the amount of maintenance. Maintenance was provided to the wife on both occasions based on the quantum of husband’s salary during time of passing the order.
  • After the maintenance was passed, she applied for review to the high court who revised the maintenance as husband’s salary further increased. Thus it was increased further at the high court.
  • Supreme Court agreed to the view high court had held. The only reason for reduction in maintenance passed by Supreme Court is the presence of a second wife of the husband and a child born out of the second wedlock.
  • Supreme Court ignored the fact that the wife was skilled, was earning a decent amount which quantified to nearly 1/3rd of that of the husband and the child born out if the first marriage was now (at the time of passing the judgement) an adult.

Below are some conclusions that I could draw from the above matter and the developments at each stage:

  • Do not apply for RCR as it has always been proven useless time and again. Indian judicial system seemingly doesn’t have any mechanism to enforce RCR judgement (that seeks to save the marriage) won by the husband against the wishes of the wife.
  • Contrarily applying for RCR only attracts maintenance cases under sections HMA 24 and 25.
  • Applying for divorce is also counter-productive for the husband. Although the husband may be granted a divorce on one of the grounds but he may end up satisfying his wife’s greed to get more money/property.
  • Never skip your court dates, however difficult it may be. If you are threatened or man-handled or beaten by some goons while you are attending the court dates in your wife’s territory, file a complaint at the local  police station and pursue the matter separately without any fear. A police complaint should be a deterrent to the goons and in-laws in their efforts to traumatise you even more. Contrarily, not attending the court dates not only gives an impression that you aren’t interested in the matter and to get justice, but you also gives entire control of the court proceedings to your advocate and end up losing your grip on the case. You are then at the mercy of your free-willed advocate, lying in-law’s & the misandrous judicial setup. The only respite you have is temporary by distracting yourself from this matter.
  • Second Marriage is not a solution to get rid of the issues faced due to first marriage. 
  • Last and not the least, do not marry! As they say, prevention is better than cure! Be an MGTOW. (If you don’t know the meaning of this term, google it now!